I Have No Memory

I woke up today to 11 missed calls from Jenn.  Andy died at 7AM. I had the most painful and sad day of my life. I cried from the moment I woke up until the moment I went to bed. Never did I think that there was a chance that Andy wouldn’t conquer his leukemia, never did the thought of him not making it cross my mind, so the shock was absolutely stunning and deeply painful.

Andy and I just spoke two days prior about him coming to visit and take a break from this incredibly torturous and lengthy battle, and he told me he’d be here after he won a few more battles. 2 days later he’s gone. I’ve had relatives die in the past, and there was no shock like this. The sadness was there, but nothing to this degree. Andy was one of my best friends and favorite people and our friendship was not over. I expected another 50 years. 50 years is a lot of time to think that you have with someone; and to have that taken away makes me question the point of anything. I need to hear from Josie about Andy’s last day, Christmas day. I need to know what Andy was thinking; if he or she saw this coming, and how his day was. Andy deserved none of the past 2 years of his life. None of this, and neither did the rest of us.